Very First Aired: Feb 2 1953

I’M BACK, INFANT!

I understand, you were most likely fretted. You most likely believed, “Geez, Joanna hasn’t published in permanently. Perhaps the overlords at WTF Lucy got fired for unwanted sexual advances and the entire blog site has actually increased in flames, completely charred in tawdry scandal.”

Have no worry! Nobody associated with this website is a creep. I indicate sure, my pet dog bulges my leg while I compose, however young boys will be young boys, understand’m stating? So you’re safe here.

Mentioning security, I got some hate mail while I was away for “destroying this stunning program.” THEY’RE ON TO ME. I chose while unwanted sexual advances and attack pester every market in the nation, while black and latina females make cents on the dollar to white males, while females are offered as servants in Libya and Iraq and burned alive in Burma, that to combat the genuine battle, I’m going to reduce the best comedienne of perpetuity. THAT’LL PROGRAM EM!

If you do not understand by now that Lucy is an icon to me which I frequently hold myself back from hoping tearfully at the feet of the I Love Lucy lunch box sitting to the right of my desk, you do not understand me at all. And if you do not acknowledge we’re having fun here, you can go Fred yourself.

Now, to the program!

We open on Ricky surrounded by presents as Fred is available in, and we continue to be subjected to about 5 minutes of jokes re: Fred being a lady. It resembles S02 of Friday Night Lights or every Michael Ginsburg story in Mad Guys— we understand the authors are attempting to do something, however it’s uncertain what. Rather, it encounters as scary filler for when the innovative group wished to leave the workplace early.

Ricky has actually purchased presents to require to the healthcare facility for Lucy: sweet, fragrance, and a bed coat. He desires her to seem like she’s getting a great deal of attention.

It’s been 2 weeks. That bitch does not desire sweet. She wishes to get home from the damn healthcare facility so that you can alter the diaper for as soon as and she can take a genuine nap. Go get your spouse, numskull.

Lucy’s depressed due to the fact that recently one woman had triplets and another had twins, and now Lucy fears she short-changed Ricky. If triplets are the requirement we’re placing on females now, Octomom should have that Nobel Reward we offered Malala. Leave your lazy asses, females who just bring and press out one child at a time. Your uterus is little and nobody is satisfied.

Ricky concerns Lucy is getting another inability complex. He flashes back to the time Lucy “out of the blue had a full-fledged complex,” and I am definitely sure he’s ideal. There is no possible factor besides “out of the blue.” As long as “the blue” describes the location where we women hold our affordable feelings prior to you gaslight us.

The remainder of the episode is a flashback:

They relax informing jokes. Ethel asks Fred not to inform his, due to the fact that there are women present. So Fred informs it anyhow.

Let’s take a look at the brilliant side, here. Sure, he informed a joke his spouse asked him not to inform. However we have actually been through a lot these last couple of months. So with every gross thing Fred does, I’m going to thank him for not standing, pulling his trousers down, and bringing himself to complete climax on a live set. We require to acknowledge what a success that is. I applaud him.

Lucy attempts to narrate, however she can’t truly articulate it. In reality, as she has a hard time for the ideal words, she entirely deciphers. She misses out on the punchline; her timing is off. They gaze at her in baffled abuse. It’s essentially every night I do standup.

Ricky: Lucy, you have not narrated right for your entire life.

Ricky understands that females like Lucy do not require words of motivation. Our egos endure off kinky bed coats and the periodic piece of chocolate.

Lucy stray to bed, frantically unfortunate. To stop her, they encourage her to play cards. However then nobody wishes to be on her group.

Lucy: It’s quite apparent that nobody desires me for a partner. I’m going to the bed room to inform myself amusing stories and play solitaire.

I can’t think of why this unfunny, untalented loser who nobody wishes to have fun with may feel bad about herself.

At breakfast she informs Ricky:

Lucy: You understand something? I’m not really brilliant. I do not do things well.
Ricky: You’re the cleverest and most remarkable female I have actually ever satisfied.

However she forgot to strain the orange juice. And she salted the eggs two times. And she burned the toast in the oven due to the fact that she knocked the toaster and broke it. If I let my retriever loose in the cooking area for an hour, he ‘d work up a much better breakfast.

So Lucy begins biting her nails. Bursts into tears. Fall under mayhem. She has actually found womanhood in all its splendor: perpetual internal irritating paired with unavoidable failure at measuring up to the unreasonable requirements of the patriarchy. Welcome, Lucy. Have a beverage. Here’s fortunately: Once you’re used down to absolutely nothing, little success like going to the laundromat without makeup will make you seem like Marvel Female charging into No Guy’s Land.

Lucy: We may too face it, I’m a huge fat flop.
Ricky: You can do a great deal of things.
Lucy: Call one.

He can’t think about anything and neither can she. Ethel attempts to cheer her up by stating there’s nobody that can get the hair color Lucy can. However Ronald McDonald would happen less than 10 years later on and even show that incorrect.

Lucy ends up being bedridden with misery.

Ricky: Lucy, are you still in bed?
Lucy: I was going to get up however then I asked myself why. And there I had me.

They call a psychiatrist. Mad props to this program for making such a progressive option. However isn’t this expected to be a funny? Writers, your task is to compose jokes, not simply copy down the information of me and my buddies’ lives.

Ends Up, “psychiatrist” at that time didn’t indicate somebody for Lucy to talk with. It implied 2 men will sit and talk about her

Medical Professional (to Ricky): Pay a great deal of attention to her. Flatter her. Bring her flowers and sweet.

OMG he GETS United States.

Ricky attempted that currently, he states. So the psychiatrist suggests lovely her utilizing a various guy– a hot guy. And you understand what, he’s not that away. If they generated a knowledgeable lesbian rather, this strategy might really work.

Medical Professional: At 8:00 tonight, a high, good-looking guy will appear at the door. Call him Chuck Stewart, an old good friend.

The psychiatrist brings himself. That this guy believed he might pass as “good-looking” must suffice cause to withdraw his license. He raves about her charm and Ricky gets very uneasy.

Medical professional: What considers! What lips! What hair! Beautiful animal, a living doll …

…( and whatever else males state to females on a city bus).

He dances with her while Ricky watches. This is sooooo strange. Cue the sluggish saxophone and handsy undressing. This is a Cinemax setup if ever I saw one (not that I ever have, Mommy).

” I’m Dr. C.K. Lauer Von Weinstein, and I’m as good-looking as my forehead is huge.”

So let’s wrap-up: Lucy has what seems relatively severe anxiety. To treat her, a psychiatrist pertains to her home under incorrect pretenses to dance with her in front of her hubby till she feels much better, basically making the medical professional either: a) a scam artist, b) a woman of the street, or c) a sexual assaulter. When you do not understand which one it is, you have a severe ethical issue. My therapist constantly understands which among those she’s being.

Then Ricky informs Lucy her phony admirer is really a psychiatrist, and Lucy bawls. Obviously she does! The audience is right there with her at this moment. Nobody chuckles.

So Ricky brings Fred and Ethel over. The gang confesses to each other they triggered this. However instead of check out why they felt comfy shitting all over their good friend till it injured her at a soul level, they choose to make fun of her jokes and let her win at bridge.

Lucy comes out of the bed room:

Lucy: Oh Fred and Ethel. I think you pertained to see Ricky? I’ll simply return in the bed room and being in the dark.

That joke had me chuckling more than any other up until now on the program, and I indicate any episode ever. Since it’s so damn real. I have actually had anxiety, and being in a dark bed room is legitimate. She simply neglected the pound of pasta consumed in the shadows while The Fantastic Muppet Caper uses my her laptop computer.

However the program provides such a dreadful remedy. Her buddies treat her like a kid and completely patronize her. They make fun of all her jokes. They pretend they wish to play bridge with her. They let her sing a solo. She’s their Make-a-Wish kid.

That isn’t how anxiety works. THAT ISN’T HOW ANY ONE OF THIS WORKS.

If they truly wish to treat her anxiety, they must let her get a task. She’s been asking to operate in the market for many years now. She wishes to utilize her time and presents well. She wishes to feel significance in her life and leave a tradition as she ages. And she desires buddies who will motivate and support her, simply as she provides for them.

That, or she simply truly desires a brand-new bed coat. It’s anybody’s guess.

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Join me next time for S02 E19: The Club Election. And follow WTF Lucy on Facebook and Twitter!