Original Air Date: January 26, 1953

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And with that, we go back to East 68th Street. Last episode, Lucy came up with life. Or as this program would put it, Ricky sacrificially permitted Lucy to deliver on his behalf.

Blessed be the fruit. Might the Lord open.

Thinking about Little Ricky’s birth was the greatest ranked television episode of perpetuity when it premiered in 1953, with 71% of America seeing, I’m particular for this episode households all over collected excitedly to see the brand-new infant do something charming.

No such luck. As the Trump presidency has actually taught us, seeing children whimper throughout the day can get truly old.

Rather, we open on Ricky playing piano. He has A LOT ENERGY after having an infant!!! It’s practically like he hasn’t needed to do anything

Fred and Ethel look tired, either by him or by the reality that they’re the only ones who have actually been assisting Lucy raise that little sucker.

They tease Lucy (who’s still in the health center—- these people are a class act) due to the fact that she purchased a tape recorder to tape the infant’s very first words. What a waste of cash, hmm? Well if these jokers might just see what individuals record on Instagram today, they ‘d #losetheirshit #wtf #kidsthesedays.

We flash back to Lucy doing her meals. She informs Ethel that Ricky purchased her to stop investing cash.

LUCY: I could not comprehend the majority of it. All I might get was that pesos do not grow on trees.

However she really simply purchased something, so … Ricky, you might have a point. She conceals the brand-new cooking area device in the refrigerator, due to the fact that he ‘d “Never ever believe to search in here in a million years.” And you understand, she’s most likely right. He’s never ever opened the refrigerator. The chill makes his man-parts diminish.

However Ricky captures her, and she exposes her brand-new device: It rices, dices, and entwines. It lowers 2 hours a day of her operate in the cooking area. However it’s $7.98, so Ricky go nuts.

Let’s do a little mathematics with our itty bitty woman brains. That one-time purchase conserves Lucy 730 hours each year.

She uses to provide a presentation.

FRED: Of what?
RICKY: A female’s stupidity.

He’s gon na raise their child to be that man who states “great tits” to you while you wait in line at the DMV.

RICKY: Truthfully, Fred, why is it that females have no sales resistance?

Yeah, what could perhaps make Lucy feel helpless to defend herself? Besides each and every single thing that’s occurred in Seasons One and 2?

Lucy mentions Ricky purchased himself a 20-foot rubber life raft as soon as. (Lucy, that was a sex doll, you dum dum.)

However truly, what would Lucy finish with 730 more hours/year? She might tutor kids. She might bake pies for clingy households. However the kids would wind up failing and the pies would toxin bad individuals who will not have access to health care for a minimum of another century. So it’s much better in this manner.

” If just I might utilize this food mill to … procedure … my sensations of debilitating self-hatred.”

Ricky informs her she needs to require a refund or he will slice her into 16 similar pieces. He is a real psychopath. Quick! Choose him!

So Lucy requires the refund and Mr. Martin, the man from the sales business, visits the apartment or condo. He flatters her, which works due to the fact that she hasn’t heard a good aspect of herself in over a years.

The salesperson informs her how dumb most females are (we like that) then disposes dirt on her carpet (Prince Charming!). He uses her $10 if his vacuum can’t clean it up in 2 minutes flat.

Leave it to a male to presume “entered into my house” suggests “discard a heap of poo on my carpet.”

Then he informs her about one moron lady who didn’t make the purchase:

MR. MARTIN: Why that short-sighted, narrow-visioned woman did not even have the intelligence to purchase one.
LUCY: What a dope!

This is what we call internalized misogyny, women. We switch on each other rather of switching on the genuine risk: remakes of old classics. Likewise the patriarchy.

Lucy generally pleads him to offer her the vacuum. She purchases the works, then about 50 other things, consisting of the electrical cable and “the switch to turn it on and off.” Really, a turn-on switch would most likely do Lucy a great deal of excellent.

When Ethel gets here later on, Lucy’s blacked out and forgotten how she mistakenly invested $102.46.

This is the dead-eyed gaze of an individual who’s seen the news today.

Ricky can be found in singing operatic tenor through the entire structure. He has the exact same regard for his next-door neighbors as … well, as you ‘d anticipate him to have.

She conceals the vacuum. However Ricky turns the light switch and the vacuum switches on in the closet.

LUCY: Kiss me?
RICKY: Right after I see …
LUCY: Better kiss me now if you’re ever going to!

When he discovers the vacuum, Lucy jokes that it’s his Christmas present. Do not be ridiculous, Lucy! For Christmas he gets another infant.

Ricky needs she call the salesperson back and get another refund. Ever the business owner, Lucy chooses to offer it to somebody else rather of returning it.

She checks out a woman’s apartment or condo and carries out the exact same pitch the salesperson carried out for her. She disposes dirt on the flooring and uses the $10. However the electrical energy’s out, so she’s down another $10 and needs to hand-clean the flooring.

This is what females do to each other. We take the poo a male tossed on our floorings and we toss it onto each other’s floorings. Likewise, we let our good friends use hats like that and never ever caution them they appear like Minnie Mouse hardly endured a natural catastrophe. We’re beasts.

She ultimately roams in late, completely tired, still with the vacuum.

LUCY: You’ll be happy to understand, Ricky, that there are a lot of females in the area with sales resistance.

I constantly have my good friends massage my feet after I vacuum. That’s why I do not have good friends. Or a vacuum (ex-friends damaged it).

LUCY: I was kicked down stairs, bitten by a canine, and went after 3 blocks by a police officer who wished to see my peddler’s license.

Is that what they called it at that time?

RICKY: I do not understand what these females would do without us males getting them out of all these messes.

Oh! Oh I got this one!

• Read The Handmaid’s Tale
• Get raises
• Not be attacked
• Watch The Handmaid’s Tale
• Tweet easily
• Play computer game unharassed
• Run for workplace
• Just smile when we seem like it
• Never ever get sent out another cock photo
• Run impeachment procedures

We ‘d in some way manage.

Ricky calls and schedules the refund, although Lucy cautions him this man will offer him something. However her woman voice gets away to deep space. So the kids purchase a fridge and cleaning maker.

Lucy kipped down that slicer and dicer she liked a lot. She lost 720 hours out of her year. And in the meantime, the people made far even worse purchases for even more cash, and nobody ever held them liable.

However her eeeeemmmmmmaaaaiiiilllllllssssssss!

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Join me next time for S02 E18: The Inability Complex. And follow WTF Lucy on Facebook and Twitter!